The rooster magazine horoscope

Do you really need another leather harness or antique dildo? The cosmos is telling you to cut it out lest you end up on the front page of your local newspaper due to a freak accident in which you get stuck in your sex sling.

Year of the Rooster | BeatRoute Magazine

Rainy days are coming. Cut that shit out.

The CDC will thank you. Mid-month, family clamors for all your attention and then some. When you reach the end of your famously short temper, tell everyone to go piss up a rope. You earned it.

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You only want things to be pleasant and days to pass smoothly. Stop being a little bitch. People will forever misunderstand you.

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You like being on top in every way, so lap up that dirty talk like milk from a bowl. Want to land a Virgo in bed? Virgos are suckers for helping people.

What is the Chinese Zodiac?

Reach out to Sagittarius for a booty call. Romance and seduction are your strong suits, but the down side is you tend to hook up with those who are only in it for the money. Go out and find yourself a crazy Aries who will fuck you seven ways to Sunday, and then come back for more! You are fickle when it comes to choosing who to have sex with. We recommend another Scorpio. The Jupiter-Pluto squares push us to go deeper and handle our baggage before dragging it into our interactions.

On March 3 and September 28, Jupiter in harmonious Libra will oppose radical Uranus in Aries , the sign of individuality. Have we watered down the issues in our quest for feel-good togetherness? On a political level, the Jupiter-Uranus oppositions could bring uprisings and fragmented political groups, if not the complete breakdown of governments or movements.

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  • Change and shakeups are afoot! Things could get intense when Jupiter moves into Scorpio from October 10, November 8, But great strides can be made when we pool our resources—emotional, financial, energetic—with strategic partners. Scorpio is about ownership and mergers. And, from buying real estate communally to making joint investments in the market, expansive Jupiter inspires us to get creative with our calculations.

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    Tantric Scorpio is also the sign of intimacy and lusty, soul-searing erotic escapades. Hello, sexual revolution? While this could bring some liberal and outspoken new attitudes about sex, it could also bring the spread of some less savory issues like new strains of STDs. Progressive Jupiter, which rules publishing and learning, could help reform outdated sex education programs.

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    We could see students learn not just about how babies are made but also how to dismantle gender stereotyping, navigate social media privacy in the age of Snapchat and sexting, and how to hopefully avoid the rape culture which has hit a pervasive new high. Scorpio rules the psyche, so understanding human behavior and motivations could make a huge difference in safe, consensual enjoyment of our bodies and sexuality.

    Psychology is also ruled by Scorpio, so new therapy developments could emerge. Energy healing and energy medicine could also see breakthroughs, since Scorpio rules mysticism.